Read, If You Dare

Read, If You Dare

I pick up my pen

I know what I want

To say to these people

To say to the world

But then in my mind

I see your face

And I falter

Because I wonder

What you'd think

What you'd say

If you knew it was me

Hiding under these words

Good Morning Sunshine, Earth says Hello! (A Panic! At The Disco Fanfic)

Do I attract you?
Do I repulse you?
With my quesy smile

He has been my friend for quite some time now, more like a bestfriend actually. I admit that though I am far from being the best there is, I still hope that I may be enough.

I am most definitely not gay or bi for that matter. I just love him. Him being Ryan Ross; the said bestfriend. Sue me.... And I try my best to make him like me. I know that he likes me as a friend, that should be enough for me but.... It still doesn't kill that feeling.

Am I too dirty?
Am I too flirty?
Do I like what you like?

Sure, I flirt with him. Hell, I flirt with everyone. After all, I am Brendon Boyd Urie-attention whore extraordinaire. Everyone knows it. Still, there are times that what I say to him is true. Ryden DIrrrrrty!!! Sure he laughs it off and it hurts me inside but I do my best to lock up the pain.

Some say that those stunts I pull off are just for publicity. I say its for fun. Heck, I get to act out my wildest fantasies on him at the stage and the cool part about it is that he can't run away. The fans love it, I love it, I really wish he loves it; so its a win-win situation.

I could be wholesome
I could be loathsome
I'm just a little bit shy

Sometimes he'd just have about enough of me that I scurry out to my bunk on our bus. Boy does he have a temper! I can get a little too dirty after all. Other times he'd just come to me, willingly might I add, and we talk. After a few laughs, he'd just turn all serious and tell me not to be blue. Yeah, I tend to get into a funk when he ignores me. And this short act of concern makes me hope that there might be something for me.

I don't normally do all those stuff you see on the net. Half of those are "photoshopped" and the other half are done during the times when I get tipsy. I actually like to read and spend some time with my friends- namely Ryan. Whenever I spend some alone time, I watch him or think about him; of course. I know I am like obssessed... I am shy you know, I just get high with the adrenaline rush and attention. I am an attention whore but I am also homey. Paradox, huh? I sure hope you get what I mean..

Why don't you like me?
Why don't you like me?
Without making me try

I tried to be like Pete Wentz and go all gay on him but I just broke his guitar when I tried that 360 degree turn. Believe me when I say that it was bad. I also tried to be William Beckett but alas, one will is enough for the tour. I've got to be identity mad now; all I wanted was to be closer to him and look what it got me.

I can be brown
I can be blue
I can be a violet sky
I can be horrible
I can be purple
I can be anything you like

Ths is driving me insane. This has got to stop. I got to tell my bestfriend that I love him. How cliche of me. I need to tell him how I feel. He needs to know that there is a person out there who loves him deeply. I need to march to him right now and do this!

And I need to stop this annoying habit of mine to talk with my bathroom mirror because my freakin bestfriend whom I love is standing outside the bathroom door gaping at me. Shit! I am screwed!



A.N.
My first Brendon/Ryan fanfic... Yipee!!!!! I've got another one coming, it's the continuation but this time, its Ryan's point of view... Hehehehe

Yipee!!!!Q